BACK TO BALL
Finally, spring is here, birds are chirping, the sun is shining…wait, what?! It’s hasn’t stopped raining for six weeks and it is supposed to snow? Where is that little groundhog who said we were in the clear back in February? Maybe baseball can wait a little longer with the Blues coming back into playoff contention, possibly putting themselves into position to play the scuffling Las Vegas Knights in the first round. Nah, they’ll probably lose in 5 to Nashville and the puckbuddies will be sad they even made the playoffs. But I digress, back to why we (the royal we, man) started this website…BASEBALL!
Similar to last year, TOB and a few loyal readers (and TOB’s personal rival Steve Gerring’s friend Joe Specter) will be playing a “wins pool” fantasy baseball league. Twelve players are split into two divisions of six, each drafting five teams. At the end of the season, the top two in each division with total wins will qualify for the playoffs. It’s like fantasy baseball, except no line-up shuffling, trades, free agency, etc. Just the fun stuff, the draft and heckling! Here are the teams this year:
National League:
Matt Hill (Pencil Thin Moustakas) – Astros, Rockies, Brewers, Orioles, Royals
Adam Case (Kershawshank Redemption) – Dodgers, Twins, Mets, White Sox, Rays
Joe Specter (DeJong and the Restless - Possibly Steve Gerring’s Alias) – Indians, Angels, Blue Jays, Braves, Reds
Dan Ragon (Better Call Paul) – Yankees, D-Backs, Phillies, Pirates, Padres
Andy Woodhouse (Joe Buck Yourself) – Cubs, Red Sox, Mariners, Rangers, Tigers
Brian Battle (You Don’t Send Me Fowlers Anymore) – Cardinals, Nationals, Giants, A’s, Marlins
American League:
Caleb Angeli (Man Bear Puig) – Astros, Giants, Brewers, Braves, Orioles
Steve Gerring (Sippin on Gin Andrus) – Dodgers, Twins, D-Backs, Pirates, White Sox
Robert Vaughn (Syndergaarden Cop) – Yankees, Rockies, Mets, A’s, Tigers
TOB (Angels in the Troutfield) – Nationals, Angels, Blue Jays, Rays, Reds
Nick Piacintini (Kluber Lang) – Indians, Cardinals, Mariners, Royals, Padres
Andrew Lugge (They Might Be Bryants) – Cubs, Red Sox, Rangers, Phillies, Marlins
A couple of things of note: The Astros were the first pick, the Marlins the last pick, in both divisions. Between those picks, a lot of bad decisions. Keep checking in on TOB for updated standings and merciless taunting so long as TOB isn’t in last place!
Perhaps this has been the case for a few years now, but it strikes TOB as odd that the regular season opens on a Thursday. TOB remembers when it was a single game on a Sunday night, then the rest of the league started on a Monday. MLB is trying to prevent the season from extending into November, but come on, opening the season in New York, Baltimore, and Detroit in March? Either shave about 15 games off the season and start in mid-April or have the first few weeks of games start in the south and west. Manfred, holla acha boy.
Tell me if this sounds familiar:
“We have a young starting shortstop who well outperformed expectations last year, an outfielder with promise but was oft injured in the minors who had a breakout season last year, a few young power arms in the rotation and bullpen that we will sprinkle in with some veterans to provide balance. We really think we have a winning ball club this year all the while shaving payroll.” Was that the 2017 or 2018 Cardinals philosophy? Trick question, both. Hard to think things will go any differently this year with DeJong and Pham being relied upon to carry much of the offensive load, though Ozuna is the one big difference from last season. Wainwright is already on the DL, Carpenter has been injury plagued all spring, and who knows what to expect from the new coaching staff that will apparently “help” Matheny with some of his lineups/bullpen management. This season could be the year Mike delegates and things run smoother than they have the past 5 years…or it could crater under the weight of his Forrest Gump level IQ.
Maybe we can hire this guy to come to the games to give the Cardinals a boost:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZli5cDvZKo
Break out those tiddlywinks, Mike!
TOB is currently watching game 2 of the Cardinals season and many fears are coming to pass (though admittedly, the season is 1% played out). Martinez looked pretty typical for a day game in a fun city (perhaps a case of the bottle flu), walking 6, striking out 5, throwing about 85 pitches through 3 innings. Every pitcher out of the bullpen allowed the first runner to reach base, which led to the Cardinals blowing what was really a game up for grabs after Martinez exited (Bowman may be the next Matheny victim, he appears lost, can’t get anyone out). The outfield looks rough (Ozuna, Pham, Fowler are combined 1/23 with 12 SO through the 8th inning of game 2), and the offense in general is downright sluggish aside from Jose Martinez.
One last item before we check out of this Debbie Downer of an article; it’s good to have Tim McCarver back in our lives. He continues to enlighten all of us with his pearls of wisdom. When discussing Yoenis Cespedes and his injury plagued 2017 season, Dan McLaughlin mentioned that Yoenis has taken up Yoga this past year in order to maintain better health. Tim apparently thinks Yoga is some sort of supplement that can be taken in pill form, or in some other tangible way. He asked Dan if Yoenis would “take a yoga before a game, or on off days?” It’s possible he meant take a yoga class, but it is unlikely. Keep ‘em coming Tim! (For the record, TOB is a big proponent of yoga in preparation for baseball. It is a great way to strengthen legs an core, and help with explosion which seems counterintuitive since it is a lot of slow stretching. Trust TOB, if yoga can make me a mediocre old man league ballplayer, think what it can do for you!)
Enjoy the NCAA games tonight, go Loyola and KU!
-TonyonBall
