BASEBALL - WEEK 7.5
Well, hockey is over for us in STL. A little vindication that the Preds are in the final. Gary Bettman is thanking his lucky stars the Penguins pulled that game out last night; Nashville-Ottawa is not exactly a ratings juggernaut. NBA finals are set to start sometime this year (allegedly). TOB doesn’t know much about basketball, but that Steve Curry kid can ball. Three weeks away from baseball being the only game in town (save for the WNBA…just kidding…you don’t know when the WNBA season is). No sponsor this week, still shopping around.
Various Team TOB observations:
St. Louis Cardinals: Started the season 3-9, then went 18-6, now on a 2-6 stretch. This team is maddeningly frustrating. Starting pitching has been excellent for a few weeks now, but the bullpen is a dumpster fire. Big signings this offseason have led to a giant douche (Jonathan Broxton) and a turd sandwich (Brett Cecil) coming out of the pen. Bowman looked good to start the year, so of course Matheny threw him every game (sometimes twice a game, which I didn’t think was legal). Offense is spotty, get shut out for 13 innings, then score 10. Baserunning is awful, little league level, yet Matheny continues to encourage “aggressive” behavior on the bases. TOB has an over/under bet on the Birds going over .500. Feels like that bet is going to cause an ulcer at some point.
Colorado Rockies: After the first couple of weeks, this was cute. It has now reached annoyance for the LA Dodgers (TOB’s breadwinner in the wins pool). Blackmon plays like a homeless man’s Mike Trout, and coincidentally enough, looks like a homeless man. Arenado is a budding star and Reynolds is having maybe his best year. Fun team to watch, and the Cardinals coming to Coors could be just what the Rockies need to stay hot.
Mike Trout: Don’t want to keep pumping this guy up, but good lord. Trout leads the league in HR, BA, OPB, OPS, etc. He’s on fire. Through 6.25 seasons, his career WAR (52) is above many players already in the Hall of Fame. Oh yeah, he’s 25! Too bad he plays in a market that already has a favorite team. Hopefully he gets to the Yankees before Harper does (the Cardinals could use another outfielder!)
Minnesota Twins: TOB had no idea the Twins would be good. They were the 27th team taken in the wins pool. TOB did more research for this paragraph than anything else in this article (which is to say, 5 minutes). Turns out Mauer is still in the league, though a shell of himself, hitting .266 with little power. No players hitting over .300, not sure how the Twins are doing it, but they may be a force in a fairly weak division.
Mike Leake: 5-2 with a 1.91 ERA. Amazing turnaround given last year was a trainwreck (9-12 4.69 ERA). Leake’s deeper numbers make it appear that he can keep this up (WHIP – 0.969, SO/BB – 4.2 / FIP – 3.00). Leake is also a TOB favorite since his fastball averages 90.5. Location, location, location…and movement…and pitch sequence…but mostly location.
Heyward vs. Fowler Update:
Heyward: .746 OPS through 32 games (127 PA). Unfortunately, Heyward is turning around (and so are the Cubs). Heyward credits a yoga instructor…yeah, couldn’t be his new found friendship with A-Rod’s cousin…
Fowler: .723 OPS through 39 games (164 AB). As the cardinals have gone into a slide the past week, so has Fowler. He came back from a few days off looking sharp, then fell apart. Slugging is right in line with career, but OBP is 60 points below. Come on buddy!
Manfred Mann’s League of The Blind Update:
Silky Johnson’s Player Haters (Cubs, Yankees, Tigers, Angels, Braves Padres): Wins – 136 / Pace – 476. Top teams are starting to turn it on, the problem is the Padres are being…the Padres.
Dexter’s Laboratory (Red Sox, Rangers, Cardinals, Royals, Diamondbacks, Reds): Wins – 141 / Pace – 498. All teams are near .500 except those Royals. Member when they were starting brawls and pimping homeruns? Maybe they should have realized it wouldn’t last forever.
Synderhard-on for Kershaw (Dodgers, Mets, Blue Jays, Pirates, Rays, White Sox): Wins – 134 / Pace – 464. I blame injuries…and poor choices. Need those Jays to get going. The Mets are a dumpster fire, there is no hope for them.
Blake Street Bombers (Nationals, Giants, Rockies, Orioles, Brewers, Twins): Wins – 154 / Pace – 538. Far out in front, Dragon will occasionally text me to let me know his teams went 6-0 on the day. What a dick. Four of these teams are in first place, one is in second by a game. Unreal. Who saw the Twins having this type of season?!
Cano Corn (Astros, Indians, Mariners, Marlins, Phillies, Athletics): Wins – 129 / Pace – 454. Who would have thought drafting the entire AL West wouldn’t have been a great strategy…
Best Moment of the Year (to date):
Going the opposite direction here. Matt Carpenter has been TOB’s favorite Cardinal for a few years now. Solid approach at the plate, seems to play wherever they ask him to in the field (though not all that well, which could be why he is always one of the first to move positions). However, Carpenter has been having a bit of an off year, and he’s starting to be kind of a dick about it. After making the first out at third base on Saturday (see below), he acted as if that was the right play, and if you don’t agree, you don’t know baseball. Hmmm, maybe stop smelling yourself a bit there Carp.
https://mediadownloads.mlb.com/mlbam/mp4/2017/05/21/1410152783/1495338864317/asset_2500K.mp4
What’s Annoying TOB this Week:
Recently TOB and his special lady were walking our furry friends through Creve Couer Park (Food truck Wednesday, 5/24, shout out to Zia’s pizza for their “Chicago Style Sandwich”). Whilst walking, several bicyclists would ride by screaming, “On your left, get to the side!” Easy Lance, it’s a perfectly flat park, we are walking dogs on a trail. Take off your spandex, you look ridiculous.
Best Comment by an Announcer (to date):
This week’s comment of the week is a write in from longtime reader Logan Springer (Editor’s note: TOB found the quote on Logan’s Facebook page, and he mentioned that he read an article…9 months ago). Tim McCarver on why Venezuelan players are such free swingers, “Well, you know what they say, ‘You don’t walk off the island.’” Nice work Tim, TOB is no geography major (TOB once thought Costa Rica was an island, mostly because it should be), but Venezuela is most certainly NOT an island.
Raging Bulls Update:
Bulls have had an up and down couple of weeks. Hard to get in a rhythm when you only play once a week (rain has wreaked havoc on the STL area this spring). Bulls are 2-3, need to go on a run to get back into the league’s top contenders. Big stretch the next few weeks (assuming no rain) with some top teams will go a long way in determining the season for the Bulls.
Game Blouses Update:
Still the class of the league, especially after two solid victories over The Rack Pack with their team captain being a total dick. One loss to Pitch Don’t Kill My Vibe (on a bases loaded walk…who walks in kickball…someone with low aspirations in life), but probably a good thing to get that out of the way. One more week of regular season before the playoffs, time to activate those glutes!
Lauren on Ball Update:
As some of you know, Tonyonball has a rival site that likes to take shots at TOB both online and in person. The runner of this site, TOB's special lady, says ridiculous things on a regular basis, some of which deserve to be documented. On a recent walk with the furry friends (not the one in the park previously mentioned, aside from work, walking the dogs consumes most of TOB's time), Lauren made the unprovoked comment, "You know, they say dogs can sense things." Dynamite insight from Laurenonball.
Donut Shop Talk:
TOB’s father has a donut shop in south St. Louis city, “St. Louis Hills Donut Shop” at the corner of Hampton and Loughborough. Great donuts, not a lot of sports knowledge by the random customers who like to chat about the Cardinals and Blues. Occasionally TOB will hop in for a cup of coffee and a cheese flip, listening to the ramblings of borderline insane people. This section will chronicle some of those conversations.
The Dounut Shop vibe is very pleased with getting rid of Matt Adams. No logical reason, just happy to see him go so Matheny can’t “strategically” put in him at random times. Very upset about the Cardinals not offering more money for the Cuban prospect Luis Robert. “They don’t have any draft picks, it’s just money, they sell the stadium out every day!” TOB’s father. Gotta love spending other people’s money.
-Tony on Ball
