Baseball - Week 2?
Baseball is back for another week, TOB is back, the Cardinals are not. In this time of no Cardinal baseball TOB has observed a few other teams with regularity (Braves, Phillies, Mets, apparently most of the NL East). But I digress, first, the important part of the article, shameless digs at TOB’s special lady! Recently some large storms came through the TOB neighborhood leaving many without power. If you’re reading this, you already know that, because you probably live within 15 miles of TOB (shout out to the Kansas City readers). Roughly 45 seconds into said power outage, LOB opened the refrigerator to grab a beverage, releasing valuable cool air. Noticing TOB’s quizzical look, she proclaims, “if the power doesn’t come back on we will just put everything in the freezer.” Apparently the electric freezer is immune to the situation. As we sat in the dark chatting about that, and this, and that again, LOB drops yet another gem (rain storms are known to bring out creativity), “I like when the thunder shakes things, but what is it shaking? The air? The ground?” Difficult to say. We were also introduced to the, “Bi-Standard effect.” Definition TBD.
Forgive TOB for not mentioning this in the last article, but happy trails to the Sonic Guys. For 15 years these two jabronis made commercials appointment television. Now we have some hillbilly’s making fun of how they talk while they throw milkshakes down their pie holes. TOB is on a Sonic boycott until this situation is rectified. When is the last time TOB went to Sonic you ask? 2007. Maybe they won’t miss my business…
Now for the commercial that TOB is currently enjoying:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uZ7PG3YPuM
Gotta love the passive aggressive Aunt comment!
General Observations:
They said it couldn’t be done (or shouldn’t be done), but MLB has made it another 10 days (well, save for the Cardinals…ugh). MLB is discussing making the playoffs a bubble, probably a wise decision just in case the Cardinals are able to make it. MLS kicked two teams out of their bubble for acting like dicks, perhaps MLB will consider removing the redbirds and reallocating the rest of the central division teams. It may be for the best, they are going to try and cram 55 games into 45 days. Not much room for load management there.
Basketball (Roundball in Australia) having a playoff like atmosphere the past week, and the NHL actually starting the playoffs are luring TOB’s attention (and the PGA, great coverage of a fantastic finish on Sunday).
Various Team TOB observations:
St. Louis Cardinals: Still haven’t played. They probably still suck.
Pittsburgh Pirates: The Cardinals have 2 wins, you know, since they’ve played 5 games so far. The Pirates have 4…they’ve played a full season. They definitely suck.
Giancarlo Stanton: Stats look decent, but similar to last year he can’t stay healthy. That’s why TOB is maintaining that nimble 150lb in lieu of blowing up to 155lb or 160lb. Don’t want to carry around all of that mass.
Mike Trout: Fresh off of maternity leave, Trout is back to leading the league in OPS, and it on pace to hit a homerun every other game. Just went from six to midnight.
Ramon Laureano: Yet another victim of the Astros being dicks. Some hitting coach (TOB won’t give him the satisfaction of naming him) barks at an actual player and gets him suspended for 6 games. Unreal. More on the Astros later.
Astros Watch:
The hostility Houston is showing their foes, peers, and former allies rivals only that of post-World War I Germany. TOB is not suggesting that Jeff Luhnow is a modern day Hitler, though he did write his thesis at Penn on the misinterpretation of Mein Kampf by the western world (source pending).
For those that aren’t history buffs and may not get that reference, a more modern comparison involves a little movie called “Space Jam.” Based on their rapid rise to superstardom and then quick demise, all while ruled over by some chubby half-wit (Dusty Baker). Let’s line up the Monstars with the Astros since there really isn’t much else to do these days:
Pound (Muggsy Bogues / Jose Altuve): Classic overacheaver who defied the odds to be an All-Star. Without assistance he is hitting a stellar .187 BA this season with no power
Bang (Larry Johnson / George Springer): Silky smooth athlete who led off a World Series game with a homerun. Currently hitting .188, take that Altuve!
Bupkus (Patrick Ewing / Alex Bregman): MVP and maybe the best Jewish Slugger since Hank Greenberg. Back to looking like Kyle’s cousin this season hitting a soft .250
Blanko (Sean Bradley / Carlos Correa): For some reason they portrayed this character to be perpetually confused. Fits perfectly for Correa’s lack of self awareness, which is probably why he’s the only one still having a solid season with a .906 OPS.
Nawt (Charles Barkley / Justin Verlander): Odd how a player is on his last leg and then all of a sudden he’s a Cy Young candidate again. Unlikely trash can banging can help a pitcher, but if only there were some sort of substance you could take that would help you get stronger, recover faster, and focus more intently (Oh my god King, that’s Roger Clemens’s music!). Also should be noted, Verlander hasn’t pitched this season with some odd tendon soreness…
Fϋhrer, I mean, Further Astros Watch (Sorry about that, Nazi’s on the brain):
As noted last week, TOB has a bet with Robert the Cheech about how many time Astros players will be hit. TOB has found it interesting how many players the Astros pitchers are hitting in a weird form of pre-retaliation (that may not be a thing, maybe TOB absorbed that from a conversation with the special lady, either way you get it, so we’re sticking with it). Let’s keep a running tally:
Astros HBP: 10
Astros Pitchers Hitting Opponents: 10
For a team as villainous as the Astros, you would think there would be much more of a disparity. Especially since none of the players were punished over the scandal. “Hey, we were just following orders.” – Astros players or Nazi generals during the Nuremberg trials? You be the judge.
Best Moment of the Year (to date):
Oh the poor Phillies. Good thing they have Bryce Harper for another 9 years at a mid-level country’s GDP.
https://www.mlb.com/video/hector-neris-in-play-run-s-to-pedro-severino
Baseball is more fun with the Mets and Phillies are terrible.
What’s Annoying TOB this Week:
Already discussed, bring back the Sonic Guys!
Golf League Update:
Well, this is it. The final week is upon us. TOB and trusty sidekick Adam Case are merely 4 points from the top spot. The problem is, we are in 6th place. The odds of us winning it all are about as good as Lloyd Christmas ending up with Mary Sawnson. Well, there’s always the skins games and the year end scramble to lose too!
The Blues are really stepping in it since this restart. Need a game 2 victory tonight, can’t let Vancouver come in and steal both games at home 😊. Kudos to the NHL for having 3 of the first four games at 9:30pm local time for the defending champions, with the only decently timed game on a Friday night. Real cool guys, real cool.
-Tony on Ball
