BIG10 / SEC Challenge?
The culmination of a shockingly fun (and disruptive) season is finally here. With football that phrasing is not quite accurate, the season always seems to fly by as we see summer come to a close all too quickly and the holidays race upon us…wait, who’s writing this crap? Oh no, Uncle AI took over and condensed a bunch of snarky opening paragraphs into something coherent, bland, and sort of accurate…
As is no surprise to anyone TOB’s special lady LOVES the AI feature (as a follow up to her love for Alexa) on the I-Phone. AI is all the rage lately, people are fearing for their jobs, schools are going to great lengths to ensure students are actually writing their own material, etc. The problem that AI currently has, and will continue to have (note: This next statement may not age well) is that the info out is only as good as the info in. As a slanted, leading question, get a slanted, leading answer. “How long to I cook a pot roast?” was recently shouted at an I-Phone in TOB’s home. The answer, “About 4 hours.” TOB chimed in to ask the human making the pot roast, “So is that per pound, or did you specify how much the roast weighs?” Response, “I don’t know, it told me 4 hours so that’s what I’m going to do.” What could go wrong?! AI is like your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving that only follows one particular news channel so all of his views are through that narrow lens (he’s either in heaven right now, or on major anti-depressants if that is the case, which sums up most people). AI is fun, sometimes annoying, but generally, you shouldn’t take anything it says too seriously without giving it a good common sense check. TOB’s lady will do none of that, and our family will be dead of some food borne illness by years end…
It’s official, TOB’s love for the “Becoming Your Parents” commercials has officially turned TOB into one of those characters. From enjoying the “Grills just want to have fun” apron, or cranking out dad jokes (to be fair, TOB has loved “Dad Jokes” since about age $), TOB and TOB’s lady were officially in Parent Mode during the Thanksgiving football halftime shows. A couple of real exchanges:
(Detroit vs Chicago halftime show, it is announced that the musical guest will be a person called, Shaboozy)
TOB: Wait, who is this? I thought Shaboozy was a small, blond, white girl. Is this some sort of cross over?
TOB’s Lady: No, that’s him
TOB: Huh, so he sings bland, generic country music, but since he’s a black guy with dreads, wearing bell bottoms and cowboy boots, is supposed to be unique and edgy?
TOB’s Lady: I don’t know about any of that, but I love this song!
TOB: That adds up
(Dallas vs Giants halftime show is announced, we do not hear who the musical guest will be)
TOB’s Lady: Wow, Post Malone got FAT
TOB: That’s Jelly Roll
TOB’s Lady: What’s a Jelly Roll
TOB: Well, not that you ask, kind of a fat Post Malone
We’ve arrived!
TOB has mentioned in the past how impressive the budget Jesus is carrying around these days. We thought Harvard had a crazy endowment, Jesus scoffs at those numbers, and without any help from the Goldsteins among us! That being said, TOB recently made a comment during one of the half dozen, “He gets us” commercials that air during every game. Here is a real exchange with a 42 year old woman:
TOB: Man, Jesus is really ramping up the ads during the holiday season. Must be flush with cash these days
Woman: Jesus? Who’s that? What’s his last name?
TOB: Um, Christ?
One of two things is going on here. Correction, one thing is going on here. This woman hangs out with my wife too often.
On to one of the best weekends of the year, Conference Championship Games!
TOB has some concerns going into these games with regards to punishment for qualification. The head of the Selection Committee has said that losing these games will not affect a team’s standing to make the playoff, but we shall see. While it would make sense that Georgia/TX and Oregon/Penn State are safe no matter what, can the same be said for Boise State and SMU, TOB is not so sure.
Problems arise when a team makes the Conference Championship game, loses it, then is punished for that loss. A fix for this would be simple. Rankings are set prior to Conference Championship games. A win can only help you by getting a bye, a loss cannot eliminate you from the playoff. One big problem…how long until players opt out of the Conference Championship game to stay healthy for the playoff?
“TOB, that would never happen, players devote their lives to winning a conference championship, in some cases, that is more important than winning a playoff game.” Sure, and winning the Rose Bowl Game was the most important thing in the BIG10/PAC10 for about 120 years, then several key Penn State starters sat out of the Rose bowl in 2023 to enter the transfer portal or the NFL Draft (WR Parker Washington, CB Joey Porter, Jr. most notably). If it can happen to the Rose Bowl, it can happen to a Conference Championship game. Not saying it’s wrong; but get ready for it. As it happens, Penn State is likely shitting themselves thinking, “Oh no, our yearly scam where we only play one good team and trick everyone into thinking we are really good and just had one bad day is going to be found out.” TOB is hoping they lose by 20 to Oregon. Take the -3.5 and put a mortgage payment on it.
Very excited for the games, shout out to Robert the Cheech for hanging last Saturday for all of the chaos. Loved seeing Ohio State go down (Sad Ryan Day face is quite a thing), and Dabo doing what Dabo does (bitching about getting snubbed, then laying an egg, classic Clemson).
Hopefully this week is just as dramatic and consequential.
Back next week with a new punting strategy and more pop culture mix ups!
-TOB
